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ἈΜΦΊΛΗΨΙΣ.

A BRISK ACTION ON THE FLANKS

Man entering room with gift of a dead animal. Man standing at table eating and being given an enema at the same time.
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Rusticus urbanas dum fortè intrasset in aedes
Dorophago portans munera caussidico.
Caussidicum offendit parte (hoc est ore voraci)
Sumentem lautos anteriore cibos.
Posteriore autem, clysterem urgebat in alvum
Pharmocopola olido pronis aqualiculo.
Equid agis Patrone? (cliens huic rusticus) illi
Caussidicus. CApio parte ab utraque simul.

A peasant bearing gifts once entered the city house of a lawyer greedy for presents* and found the lawyer dining on delicacies with his foreparts (that is to say, his insatiable mouth), while, from behind, a quack, bent double before his reeking arse, was forcing a clyster into his bowels. “Master, what are you doing”, asks the rustic client; to which the lawyer: “I’M DINING FROM BOTH ENDS”.
* Dorophago, lit. ‘a gift-eater’, Greek.

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